My Law of Attraction Lesson : Jealousy, Resentment and Lack

For the past week I have been crying every time I hear about someone earning more money than I do. To the point that I’m sobbing.

 

Talk about feeling like a loser.

 

I figured I would never mount to more than the image of a gypsy fortune teller at the local fairground attraction. (no judgement if you’re the local fairground attraction gypsy, only judgements on myself).

 

Of course I knew at a head level all the ins and outs and processes of Law of Attraction, my good friend is Hemal Radia, for goodness sake lol.

 

I felt like the people around me have incomes to aspire to. But here I was working my butt off.

 

Like a mouse on an exercise wheel more like.

 

I’ve been told by healers that when I resent other people’s good fortune, I push it away from myself. You have to wish others good luck and then you are blessed yourself.

 

The truest test of that is when you can wish your enemies good luck.

 

Blow that lol

 

Finally I admitted to myself how bitter I was that everyone was more successful than me and I was jealous and resentful about it, then I realised that the model I was adhering to was of a child in some kind of sibling rivalry mode.

 

There was only so much to go around and if you have your share and it’s more than mine then I don’t have enough and I can’t get anymore because I don’t control how it’s divvied up.

 

I also realised that I believed subconsciously that I should have your share. It’s mine. And if you have it then I can’t get it because I never got it to start with. As if something bigger than myself determined it.

 

What I hadn’t emotionally realised was that what you have is YOURS. Not mine. That you deserve what you have. It was never meant for me. Your experience was never meant for me.

 

What I have is what is meant for me. It’s my path. If I don’t feel I have enough it’s because that’s the path I am on and it has “nothing to do with anyone else’s share.”

 

I realise that may sound logical but I felt I “got” it at an emotional level.

 

Gone are the years of applying law of attraction like icing on a rotten cake. I had to own up to my total jealousy, resentment and bitterness at other people’s success to move through the child mind of what is mine and what isn’t mine; to a sense that I am on the right path.

 

My path.