You Have Been Loved

On Christmas evening UK time, I like so many people, was shocked at the passing of George Michael. I loved his music; I spent more time listening to him in his Wham days.
What struck me was how much I was upset by it.

 

I was grieving hard.

 

I couldn’t understand it because I probably had more of a connection to David Bowie, as he was the first concert I attended, and the first album I bought.  But not even his passing affected me like this.

 

I wondered if this was more unexpressed grief about my best friend passing 1 3/4 years ago, or the fact I was on holiday so had time to grieve.

 

I obsessively read everything online, I trawled youtube for all his documentaries, concerts, joined up to Apple music, was listening to his songs all day everyday, then bought a DVD concert, I was thinking about him all the time and also dreaming about him.

 

I read so many of his lyrics, and I found that odd because I’m more a melody person. The depth of his lyrics were drawing me in. What became apparent was the amount of loss he had in his life and his pain around that.

 

I wondered if this was my inner teenager grieving, I just couldn’t work it out because I was sad about David Bowie and Prince passing, but I’m not sure I even watched anything more than one or two videos on youtube.

 

My heart was in so much pain. I wondered if I was tapped into the collective consciousness about his passing; being empathic.

 

During this time I decided to get back into my genealogy and renew my subscription to ancestry.com.au where I have my family tree. I needed to focus on something else other than this feeling of loss and sadness.

 

About half a week ago (3 days before my birthday) I decided to look up George Michael and see if his family tree was there.

 

I was thinking what am I doing?

 

You’ve lost the plot?

 

I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I felt something was there. I found a few photos of his family , the next night I had another go and I found what had gripped me.

 

I noticed patterns and repetitions in his tree, and like in my own family tree, I know that with energy, what isn’t resolved is passed down through the generations.

 

George’s mother’s mother died on my birthday (Jan 5th), and her son killed himself the same date in 1964.

 

Boom there it was.

 

This is the Uncle who George writes about in “My Mother Had A Brother” song. The media has got this story all mixed up by the looks of it, probably based on the fact George sings about his Uncle dying on the day he was born, and has given interviews about what his mother told him when he was 17, but birth/death records show he was 6 months old. He may have meshed in other family events from the previous generation.

 

But what did happen based on records was:

 

George’s mother’s mother’s father (Edward) died (25th Feb 1898) one day after his daughter (Daisy) was born (24th Feb 1898), and the date was 1 day before the date George’s mother died (26th Feb 1997).

 

George’s mother (Lesley) died (26th Feb) 2 days after her mother’s birthday (Daisy)(24th Feb).

 

George’s mothers father killed himself, the records say Jan/Feb/March. The record is not specific but it’s still around this time.

 

We know from interview’s that Lesley, George’s mother, found them both, having gassed themselves in the oven.

 

George died into the night of his mother’s birthday Dec 24th .

 

This is hugely significant in stirring up grief.  Which would trigger up his first huge significant loss of Anselmo Feleppa, his first love who died in 1993, who he wrote “Jesus To A Child” for.

 

The media are saying he died 25th December.

 

So there’s three generations of deaths being 1-2 days after a birth date.

 

I also noticed that George was 33 when his mother died, the same age that Jesus died. (George dying on Jesus’s birthday, birth/death)

 

So it was very obvious that these repetitive patterns were happening in his life, around births and deaths. Mothers and sons, fathers and daughters.

 

Once I realised that two deaths in his family happened on my birthday a huge energy lifted off me. 5th January is the 12th night of Christmas, it is the Epiphany, the night the three wise men followed the star to baby Jesus to give them gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. (btw I use Frankincense and Myrrh oils daily on my thyroid)

 

This still wasn’t resolved for me. Something still wasn’t letting me go.

 

So I had a session a few days ago with a wonderful Sufi healer. The grief was less but it was still there. I wanted to know why this was being put in my heart and why me? I wasn’t a loyal fan. (but I am now lol)

 

In the session, once I got past my ego, (which took a while) and why I should be witnessing these patterns and pain, I worked together with the Sufi healer to be of service for George. I won’t go into this here as that would be my ego talking.

 

I think it’s only fitting that George is to be buried with his mother.

 

I have a warm place in my heart now , and don’t feel the devastating paralysing grief. I have such a deep gratitude for all that George has gifted us through his music, his beautiful heart and soul.

 

I am a HUGE fan now, something deep happened for me through this journey.

 

RIP George, You Have Been Loved.

 PS; Since I wrote this I have since found that my ancestors on my mother’s side and his ancestors on his mother’s side lived in the same *suburb* in London.