Kate Strong | Intuitive Healing
GeneralAnger At God?

Anger At God?

“If you have never had any distractions you don’t know how to pray. For the secret of prayer is a hunger for God and for the vision of God, a hunger that lies far deeper than the level of language or affection. And a man whose memory and imagination are persecuting him with a crowd of useless or even evil thoughts and images may sometimes be forced to pray far better, in the depths of his murdered heart, than one whose mind is swimming with clear concepts and brilliant purposes and easy acts of love.” – Thomas Merton

 

Anger

This past week I have experienced something I have never experienced before. I was soooooo angry at God. It can be a taboo feeling for religious and spiritual people. Afterall I work doing spiritual healing, so I’m reliant on my connection to the Divine, but what if I’m really miffed at the Divine? What if my faith and trust in God has gone a bit wobbly? Should I worry I am going to the dark side?

 

Asking for spiritual support for my clients is the crux of the work I do, and has never wavered, but for myself personally I feel like my trust in God has taken a hammering.

 

God’s Will

When I first started my Sufi spiritual practice I learned how to surrender to God’s will, but now I feel as if I’m not happy with God’s will. In fact I’m darn right outraged.

 

Spiritual Bypassing

Once upon a time I would have spiritually bypassed and gone into my head and told myself a whole lot of things that make sense to my mind, which felt like it was in high school, but my feelings still feel as if they are in kindergarten and I want to have a tantrum at God.

 

I don’t care if its karma, or I’m learning a lesson, or that I made some agreement before I incarnated, or I’m strengthening my faith.

 

I’m pissed.

 

God’s Plan

I believe that everything is God, the light and the dark, and we don’t know the reasons for things happening. But we trust in God’s plan and surrender to Gods will. That’s the core of healing. That’s the core of forgiveness. That’s the core of love.

 

But I’m angry at God’s plan. My bottom line trust in God has been tested.

 

God Loves You Unconditionally

I realised, that unlike some human relationships, I can be angry at God and still have faith in God’s love for me, they are compatible feelings, they aren’t conflicted.
But as humans we have learned to feel as if we will be punished if we get angry with *authority*. We are experiencing ourselves in a body having human emotions, and our society still isn’t evolved enough to support certain feelings and beliefs.

 

Niceness

Anger at God is one of those things we don’t feel we should have because we won’t receive the compassion and mercy we pray for. So we trade off, we minimise how we really feel and cover it with niceness.

 

I’m over feeling as if God is teaching me about faith, I’ve had so many things happen to me in my life, and I’ve felt a bit like a doormat to God, facing another trial and trauma, *God doesn’t give us more than we can handle*, *If he brings you to it, he’ll get you through it*.

 

I don’t want to go through anymore.

 

Maybe I’m addressing that martyr energy that a lot of women have, we are up hanging on the cross with Jesus, suffering alongside him.

 

I’m saying NO to God, ….no more, but at the same time I am asking for his love and compassion and forgiveness and strength. I am still willing to trust in his will, but not without a bit of a fight this time lol

 

Maybe now my truly authentic Faith begins. Maybe now God is going to hear a few of my complaints about his management. Instead of me being a nice little spiritual girl who feels like shes been thrown in the deep end rather than starting out in the learner’s pool.

 

Have you ever felt angry at God?

 

Kate offers Healings and Intuitive Guidance. She offers sessions in the Emotion Code, Body Code, Cord Cutting Past Life Healings, Soul Healings and more. She offers these by email.

Comments

  • John Henry Broad

    Loathing and disgust, but that was me in the looking glass, Negotiates is better for me, with opening as “What the hell are you thinking,” G-d” ?!!!?? Or, My G-d, you got a sense of humor, now let me in on the joke! and move on to “and, you, Jesus, stay out of this, it’s between Him and me. Oh, what a creator.
    All that is perfect, but you see I am content but never satisfied

  • mentorforthrivingbabies

    Yes, I have been angry with God. I resonate with your comment about not playing the “good girl.” What you wrote feels very dynamic, very genuine, authentic. There are times when I can’t get to the real spiritual understanding until I have expressed the real-to-me emotions. So, I loved reading this, though I am sure you are (or were) not enjoying the state you were in. Thank you for being up-front with your experience! And I love the quote from Thomas Merton.

    • Kate

      Hi ya Meg, yes, I wanted to be authentic, not so polished lol Something I noticed today a day after I wrote that blog is how my trust issues are up, and I feel more willing to trust when I wouldnt before, and dealing with a core trust issue. So I had to go through it to get to it, not bypass around it in niceness. Yea, that quote is awesome.

  • Mary

    I have been raging angry with God more times than I remember. But that downright anger has fueled a ton of change…that I end up being grateful for. Go figure… =}

    • Kate

      Hi Mary, yea, it is a go figure moment I reckon. Thats why I wrote about it. Having it really allowed me to see that perhaps it was Divine anger and not my reactivity. Something I had to experience.

  • Katie

    Your writing here is very powerful. I feel like you are at a turning point in your life and that is why this time, this time you cannot sit back and explain away the events of your life. It seems like you are doing some powerful reflecting and releasing of energies that have been stored within you for quite some time. This is actually a beautiful display of pure, uninhibited emotional outpouring and very healthy for the mind, body, and soul. Thank you for sharing this I feel as though I too have released something through your words. God Bless you!

    • Kate

      Thanks Katie, glad you released something as well. I wanted to also show how much we fear divine retribution, and hold back our anger for fear of being cut off etc. A huge shift for me after this.

  • Taylor Love

    Yeah I have been pretty pissed at God myself as well. I always end up having one-sided arguments about who the hell thought it would be splendid idea to make a teenager go through the most ridiculous things regarding Spirituality and such. I can also be very spiteful towards God and threatening with my life. I don’t like that whoever it is helping me “over there” can step out with powerful messages(right out in the pretty obvious, not even 5 minutes of me having the thought) of how I shouldn’t hurt myself, of how it’s wrong to think about such things, of how I should be more loving to myself and positive but then act like they can’t hear me when I ask a simple question as ” then why am I here?” “what is the point of you introducing me to this truth and not giving me any help to understand what less than half of creation does not know?” And I’m like, “God, you oversee these people! Can’t you freaking tell them to help me out here!?!”

    I also get pissed when all the terrible things in the word come crashing down on me and it seems like God won’t do anything to help(shrugs his shoulder’s as one said). But then I remember that it’s possibly the worlds choice to experience such things and that it was probably agreed upon contract. I also get mad when things get hard and I have to deal with it because my higher self was like, “oohh, John that such a splendid idea, I wanna live life with sensitive emotions so every time I hear the news I’ll feel like draino! Yaaay, splendid idea indeed!

    It’s also hard being here with no one to give you answers about all this crap, but I wanna know what are the answers and what i am really doing here because it feels like there is something very powerful and maigckal going on with me, so I’ll bite and stay to find out. But my relationship with God is not like ” I am your father and if you get mad at me it’s wrong” its more like “I laugh at your tantrum because I think it’s cute and you still have lessons to learn”. he’s like a friend I call him old friend sometimes lol.

    • Kate

      Beautiful, Taylor. I can totally understand where youre coming from. Some of us have alot of Spiritual angst to work through, so we can then have that voice in the world to help others, by just being on our journey. I suspect youre probably empathic too.

  • Juliet

    Kate, it’s so important to be real, and not to bypass. This is what I see you doing. You are pissed off, and not going to pretend otherwise. It’s a pretty good approach, to be real first, with all of what we are feeling, and then open to what more is available.

    • Kate

      Hi Juliet, yes, have to be where Im at in order to move through it. Taking back my power.

  • Sharmaine Lim

    Lol, Kate! it’s so cute when you say ” I am still willing to trust in his will, but not without a bit of a fight this time” 😛

    i can totally relate to your post. I was brought up in an environment where rules were laid out for me what I should or shouldn’t do lest the wrath of God came hurling at me. I would secretly do things that I would think my parents would disapprove, telling white lies, masturbating and doing things that God deem sinful.

    I feel very guilty and not worthy as I know I can’t hide any secrets from God. I suffered from low self-esteem and felt no one will ever love me because of my sins. I felt so bad one day I couldn’t take it anymore, lol! That’s when I questioned what the hell, God? hahaha!

    Now I masturbate in front of him and say ‘that’s what humans do, right?’ I still resent him sometimes for not providing me proper guidance when I find it hard to navigate life; I thank him when I finally got what I asked for. I’m sure he’s taken in a lot of shit from me, hehehe…I love the dynamics we are having now 😀

    • Kate

      Hi Sharmaine, yes, we are humans, of course we are going to have a human relationship with God. Thats my issue, somehow we have trimmed our edges as if God is coming to dinner like hes the Queen, and we have to be on our best behaviour. In fact God made us this way. I found it liberating to talk about because we aren’t meant to get angry at authority. And then i get a whole host of health and psychological issues.

  • Rosa

    I experience that the god I am angry at doesn’t refer to the source energy. It adresses to a false light god. False light in the sense of polarity light and not the neutral divine source. So it is really a good thing to be angry at..Anger sets boundaries. In this case to an spiritual enslavement and abuse of our connection to the source. When we refuse to play in this god game these energies loose power and the connection to the true inner god can be experienced again beyond the polarity. Here gods will and personal will merge.

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