Are You Taking Responsibility For The Outcome?
I was working with a client recently, and I felt anxious. I don’t usually get triggered by my client’s issues, but occasionally I do. I had no issue about finishing the session and being competent, but wondered what had triggered me off.
So I lay down and got quiet. And remembered a time when I had allowed my 16 year old son to have a party with alcohol. And all his party guests were drunk by 8pm and some of them were vomiting. I was so overwhelmed as I was the only responsible adult in the house.
Because of my bad decision to let him have the party, giving into the pressure to let him have what he wanted, I felt stressed and responsible to get those kids sober by the time their parents were picking them up.
I felt hugely responsible for the outcome.
Being in charge of my sons on my own, my belief was that it’s better to catch mistakes before they happen, so I’m not caught off guard if anything does indeed happen.
That belief contributed to believing I could control the outcome.
So as a healer, as much as I know spirit/energy/the divine is doing the healing, of course I want my clients to have shifts, this is why I offer my services. But there’s a fine line between being a good facilitator and holding the space, and not being responsible for the outcome.
Being overly responsible keeps you hypervigilent, codependent in a way, and a sponge for everyone else’s decisions, which you have nothing to do with deciding, which renders you feeling powerless in a way. As they are not your decisions to make.
Not being responsible for other’s outcomes is not irresponsible.
Where are you carrying the load and being responsible for the outcome?